A Man
by Jing Mei Chen
Summary: A short lil Lex POV...


I am a man as a man I've been told  
  
Bacon is brought to the house in this mold  
  
Born of your bellies I yearn for the cord  
  
Years I have groveled repentance ignored  
  
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I despise anyone person who blames LuthorCorp for the demise of Smallville.  
  
If it does, it was before I was given the plant. Before I had control, and gave the  
  
plant a thread of decency. I gave it it's humanity.  
  
If you have a problem, go to Metropolis. Go complain to Lionel Luthor.  
  
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And I have been blamed  
  
And I have repented  
  
I'm working my way toward our union mended  
  
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I am a sociable person. I try.  
  
There are people who will look me right in the eyes and lie to my face. There are people  
  
who look me right in the eyes and ask me if I am alright.Those people are so rare. So naive.  
  
So young. And not at all in the circle I need them to be to make a difference  
  
For now,Clark stays in Smallville.  
  
My life goes on in Metropolis.  
  
The people I associate with, go on like I'm there. I'm forced to sit here, and look into the eyes of all the farmers.  
  
Try to gain their trust. Be a god in their eyes.  
  
Sometimes you don't want to be God.  
  
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I am man who has grown from a son  
  
Been crucified by enraged women  
  
I am son who was raised by such men  
  
I'm often reminded of the fools I'm among  
  
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The Messiah complex. The urge to fix and help everyone. I want to be seen as great, as this amazing person.  
  
This person with their long seperated father as their shadow. Someone always over my shoulder, making sure I fuck up just enough to keep the family name up to quota.  
  
Look into their eyes. The farmers, and their children. I can see their hatred. While there are times I long  
  
for love, and a chance to belong, I thrive on their hatred.  
  
*****************************************  
  
And I have been shamed  
  
And I have relented  
  
I'm working my way toward our union mended  
  
And I have been shamed  
  
And I have repented  
  
I'm working my way toward our union mended  
  
*****************************************  
  
It's that look I search for in the eyes of woman. And I see it, before I get to know them. That look, like  
  
they are actually comfortable in my presence. At ease. Until I speak, and the hostility comes pouring out  
  
like hot lava.  
  
What do you expect from a man raised with no mother.I know you're going to leave me. Let me use you like  
  
I want to, and then we can both pretend like this never happened. You can even say you've never met me.  
  
To me, you are nothing but an easy fuck.  
  
*******************************************  
  
we don't fare well with endless reprimands  
  
we don't do well with a life served as a sentence  
  
this won't work well if you're hell bent on your offence  
  
I am a man who understands your resistance  
  
*******************************************  
  
I pity those who get attached to another living person. To live and breathe as that other person breathes. That dependence utterly frightens me. But because I am human, I want that. I want that dependence.  
  
I want my freedom.  
  
I want to live a life without those boundaries. And I want to get the hell out of Smallville.  
  
Everytime I think of my escape, I think of the Kents. Clark's father can't wait for me to leave, because of something my father did. Me leaving would destroy their son.  
  
But I never said loving me was easy.  
  
*******************************************  
  
I am a man who still does what he can  
  
to dispel our archaic reputation  
  
I am a man who has heard all he can  
  
cuz I don't fare well with endless punishment  
  
*******************************************  
  
You can trust me. I've never done a thing to make you think otherwise. Of course, it doesn't mean that I won't trust you. For all I know, you're waiting to turn around and stab me in the back. Or take over the  
  
one thing I am ashamed to carry on in my father's name.  
  
Mess with my head. I have years of mind tricks on my side. Ignorance and bitter self assurance  
  
gave me years of a thick skin.  
  
I can take you.  
  
***********************************************  
  
Cuz I have been blamed and I have repented  
  
I'm working my way toward our union mended  
  
And we have been blamed and we have repented  
  
I'm working my way toward our union mended 


End file.
